


i thought you would (do the same)

by enkiduu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 14:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19133590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkiduu/pseuds/enkiduu
Summary: Somehow, they work out because they don't expect trust or love or anything real out of their totally-not-a-relationship relation. Neither of them were ever very good with expectations.





	i thought you would (do the same)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Michaelssw0rd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michaelssw0rd/gifts).



1. Sold

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Loki says in a conversation they aren’t supposed to have, because Loki is a villain and Tony is a hero.

Except Tony isn’t a hero, and so Loki isn’t a villain. Blurred lines and all, Tony figures they need this truce for Tony to invent some more effective magic-countering barriers. Of course, he doesn’t plan on using them against Loki, because Loki’s obviously not going to give Tony anything that’d actually work against him.

Tony isn’t a hero. Maybe that’s why Loki’s willing to chat when Tony asks about what went on with the Chitauri invasion. Or maybe Loki has another game here, is trying to garner sympathy. Tony doesn’t know and doesn’t really care.

He’s curious. “Your eyes,” Tony says. This thing has been nagging him for awhile, and he never got the chance to ask before. “They’ve finally chosen what color they are. Why were they blue?”

Loki’s lips curve up. “Chosen? No. That choice was hardly mine,” he says, ignoring the question while answering it anyway.

“So, what. Mind control made you invade Earth?” Tony asks. “Don’t let Clint hear you say that—he’ll shoot your face off.”

Loki smirks. “No. That part was all me.”

He’s letting Tony come to his own conclusions. Since Tony is a master at letting other people draw (often incorrect) conclusions about him, he knows better than to underestimate someone who lost so (un)convincingly.

“I don’t buy it,” Tony says, watching how Loki’s expression flickers with surprise. “I appreciate that you didn’t succeed, but I think that’s exactly how it was supposed to go. It’s like you take lessons from classic film villains. Talk too much about a grandiose plan that fails. But you always walk away with something, don’t think I haven’t noticed. The scrolls, the allies, the recipe—I don’t know why you wanted that, honestly. But no. I don’t buy it.”

“And the Chitauri?” Loki asks, voice dangerously soft, eyes indulgent. Poisonous smiles always seem the sweetest. But Tony sees something deeper behind that smile.

Unsteady grounds. Luckily, Tony knows how to fly, and Loki, clearly, knows how to walk. “With the Chitauri, you got to walk away. Period,” he says. “What were you running from?”

“You are so quick to forgive, Stark. What happened to being an avenger?” Loki tilts his head. “You saw, didn’t you?” he asks, and Tony almost thinks about the terror and _hollowness_ he had felt. He resolutely doesn’t answer Loki’s question, which ends up being an answer to it anyway, since Loki seems both pleased and unamused at once, lips twisted strangely.

“It’s not about forgiveness,” Tony says, because he doesn’t have the right to forgive anybody. “That’s not what either of us is here for. All I’m asking is this: what else are you selling?”

 

> 2\. Water

“You shouldn’t have agreed to come if you’re scared of a little water, Stark,” Loki drawls, blasting the wall open with a burst of magic and evaporating the water that inundates out.

There was anything to be afraid of. His suits all function perfectly underwater. “Excuse me if I didn’t expect it to flood suddenly,” Tony says after he recovers, and inwardly curses the fact that he sounds breathless and his words come out a little too hostile. Truce or no truce, he doesn’t need anybody, much less some supervillain, knowing any weaknesses of his. He can’t decide if he’s impressed or scared that Loki saw through him so easily.

Loki tilts his head. “Move faster next time,” is all he says, and he walks off to find surviving enemies to interrogate, and Tony supposes he should be glad Loki doesn’t consider him an enemy to interrogate at the moment.

“Ridiculous,” Tony mutters under his breath. Now he can’t decide if he’s pleased or offended.

 

> 3\. Birthday

“Why are you celebrating your birthday alone?” Loki asks, appearing suddenly in the window. He’s wearing casual clothes—dark shirt and dark pants, his helmet nowhere in sight.

“Holy shit,” Tony yelps and turns around. He glares. “Don’t do that in the future. I don’t have good memories of you, me, and windows.” He walks away from the window of the lounge.

Loki arches an elegant eyebrow. “JARVIS told me it was your birthday and said you would be pleased to see me. Unless I am mistaken, humans hold feasts on their birthdays?”

“Wait what? He did? _I_ did?” Tony asks. “You traitor!”

“I merely relayed to Mr. Laufeyson what you had said, sir.”

“Well, that’s news to me,” Tony says. Alright, he may have said some stupid things an hour or two ago when he was… well, not sulking, he doesn’t sulk. Certainly not because earlier today, he told everyone who expected a more private party to shoo, because he was in the middle of a magic-related breakthrough.

Maybe because he didn’t want to tell them he’d forgotten his own birthday. Pepper had always organized the party every year since Tony always made a big deal of himself— _Stark’s birthday, the party of the year!_

Tony doesn’t feel like celebrating. There are bigger things to think about, and Pepper is busy, and the rest of the Avengers are probably off doing save-the-world things.

“You are inebriated,” Loki says, irritated.

“I am not,” Tony says automatically. Loki waves a hand, and Tony feels something cool tingle inside his head. It spreads, and Tony feels like he's being kissed by ice, but it doesn't hurt as ice might. It has the softness of snow, without the fear of frostbite. The soft magic rids Tony of the tension that's gathered in his body. He hasn't felt so relaxed in... forever. The closest thing he has to compare to it is when he's flying as Iron Man, freely, without a world screaming to be saved. “Oh," he sighs. "Wow. I really am not, now.” He frowns. “Why’d you do that? Why are you here?”

“I thought you would be grateful to be relieved of your headache,” Loki says.

"Yeah," Tony supposes. "I am. Thank you. That was nice of you. Unless you did something other than take away my tension, then that would be a dick move, Loki." 

"I prefer my company of sound mind," Loki says, grinning. 

Tony will have JARVIS scan his vitals and status later. "What about you? Do Asgardians celebrate? When’s your birthday?”

“We are far too long-lived to celebrate a birthday every year,” Loki says. “It is only for fleeting mortals.”

“Thanks,” Tony says. “Just what I want to hear.” He’s surprised that he actually means it. Loki’s bluntness is refreshing.

“You’re welcome,” Loki drawls, amused. Can he tell that Tony actually meant those words? Can a God of Lies do that?

“Well, pick a date,” Tony says. “Since it’s for fleeting mortals, and you’re here on Earth, you should have one. When in Midgard. I’ll even celebrate it with you. What does a god want for his birthday?” he wonders.

“Stark. That is ridiculous,” Loki says, and they go on to discuss science and magic and differences between Asgard and Earth. When Loki doesn’t think about it too hard, he seems happy enough to talk about his home, even if he’s not very welcome there anymore, and never really was.

Tony forgets about the birthday thing, until they’re fighting in Central Park and everything is dyed green, including those gigantic, fluffy, adorable green bunnies that appear out of nowhere and Loki is laughing amidst the mayhem and all the accidental good rep he’s gaining due to the publicity. It's not fighting so much as... playing tag. Mildly dangerous, yes, but still tag. 

“What’s the occasion?” Thor asks, voice booming. He’s confused, but pleased. Tony can tell he’s pleased that Loki’s seemingly causing mischief for mischief’s sake, and not some newly proposed world domination plan.

“Consider it a birthday celebration,” Loki says, and for once, after a question from Thor, he’s still grinning playfully.

Thor doesn’t get it, but Tony does. Tony laughs and flies beside a bunny to pet its head as it chomps down on a bush.

“They could still be dangerous,” Steve says warily.

“If cuteness kills, sure,” Tony says cheerfully. "Not a bad way to die." 

It takes SHIELD a while to calm down the kids protesting for the bunnies to be let out of suspicious laboratories and kept in public zoos instead.

Loki sure throws the strangest birthday parties. Tony wonders what’s for next year, if they live to see it.

 

> 4\. Titles

“So how does it work? How do you get the title of a god, God of Mischief?” Tony asks curiously.

“The title?” Loki clucks his tongue. “Some would call you a god, would they not?” he asks. “You’re well on your way to becoming a god, for everything you’ve done. Why do you ask?”

“So it is from doing your deeds,” Tony surmises. "Everything you’ve done. Well, that seems easy for you."

Loki considers for a second too long that it looks like hesitation. Tony wonders if this is Loki letting him draw his own conclusions again. “No,” he says. “I held all my titles long before I was born Loki of Asgard. It is something engraved into the roots of the world. I am what I always will be, and always have been." 

Tony considers that for a second too short, because he gets the implications. He gets it. He would’ve hated having his future written for him if he were predestined to be the God of Lies, the bringer of Ragnarok. 

"Hm," Tony says, and decides pity isn't for people ( _stories, legends, gods_ ) like them. "That's pretty badass. Very cool."

Loki's face contorts into something more open and affected than Tony's ever personally seen. Maybe Tony should get the suit. He's not sure why he doesn't. "Do not mock me, _little_ _mortal_ ," he hisses, green eyes flashing. "Are you proud of your titles, Merchant of Death? You do not comprehend Fate."

"No," Tony says flatly, meeting Loki's gaze straight on, though the old title does hurt. He's not surprised Loki has done his research. "But I got them, because of what I did. The only thing people give you is a title and then they wait to strip you of everything you are given, everything they make you become. If you let them. I don't plan on letting anybody do that. I am Iron Man, and everything that comes with that name will be because of _me_ , and not some shitty circumstances or fate."

"My titles are eons old, Stark," Loki says wearily, and Tony is annoyed that he's a little relieved that Loki has gone back to calling him Stark. What Loki thinks of him does not matter, he reminds himself. "My world does not extend to me the luxury of forgetfulness that mortals receive."

"Then own it," Tony says. "Make your titles yours, Loki. Define them. Redefine them." He smiles wryly. "You have time, a luxury we don't have."

Loki tsks. "Advice to a god from you, of all humans," he murmurs. "And you say you are not prideful?" 

Tony laughs and supposes Loki's got a point. 

 

  
  
Chapter 2: Small, Imagination, Sleep  


 5. Small

Tony feels incredibly small. Lately, even more so. In the grand scheme of things, he’s just a speck. At most, he’s a flash of light, blink and he’s gone, trying to be desperately more than something inconsequential.

He thought that nothing in existence could fill up that hollowness, that void in the universe. Nothing can delete that, he can’t program death out of life, he can’t map out nowhere, and it terrifies him.

It’s unexpected, but Loki is the one who reminds him to enjoy the small things in life. Loki’s eyes are bright with wonder when Tony shows him around his workshop, showing him things that everyone else, including himself, take for granted. Tony delights in showing him human things: Loki turns out to be a big fan of donuts and enjoys the look of gentle snow over New York City. His commentary of TV shows and reaction to films are hilarious ( _“Stark. Stark! You compared me to this classic film villain? Do not laugh. I am nothing like that,” Loki says, scandalized._ ).

Tony thinks it’s because Loki has always been about huge, world-altering events. Not that Tony hasn’t been that, because Tony is rather out of this world, occasionally literally. It’s simply that Loki doesn’t seem to have ever gotten the opportunity to enjoy something small just for the sake of it. It’s as if fun that isn’t the usual fun on Asgard is just considered bad. Which is too bad, and also would explain things.

Tony plans to bring Loki along with him on movie nights even if it’s at risk of a Hulk-out or an arrow to the knee. He’ll take his chances. He’s not entirely sure why Loki is intrigued by him (no, he knows; he just can hardly believe it), but he sure as hell enjoys Loki’s company. He’ll fight for that. He’s fought for much less.

He doesn’t want to if he doesn’t have to, but he’ll fight for Loki. He’s less scared by that than he should be, because when Loki throws his head back and laughs, guileless, eyes dancing with amusement and fondness, he is _beautiful_.

 

> 6\. Imagination

Tony wakes up, panting, shaking, full of longing. For once, it’s not a nightmare. Very much not a nightmare.

Well, shit. He is so screwed.

 

> 7\. Sleep

Tony’s surprised when Loki snatches Tony’s drill out of hands and says angrily, “Stark, have you been working this entire time?”

He’s surprised because he didn’t expect Loki to be back so early. It’s only been a few days since their last encounter, and usually Loki takes a little more time than that when he leaves. Not that he ever announces he’s leaving out loud, but he doesn’t need to. Loki’s a busy god, off doing god knows what. Good for him, and dubiously good for the rest of civilization.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks. Why does Loki look angry? “Did I miss something? Is there a catastrophe somewhere?” Tony frowns and twists around to reach for his drill, but Loki grabs his arm easily. His other hand darts up, but too slow.

“I,” Loki says, “have discovered why the Mind Stone did not work on you.” He looks displeased.

“Mind Stone,” Tony repeats. “Hey, you didn’t tell me that the pretty stone had a name. Where is that now, anyway?” He grins, going for playful. “And please, do tell. Is it because of my indomitable will?”

“That remains to be seen,” Loki says smoothly, and Tony’s mind—bad Tony, bad. “That was clearly because you have lost your mind, and thus have no more mind to be controlled,” Loki answers flatly. “Do you know for how long a human can stay awake?”

“Are you saying I broke another world record?” Tony asks, suddenly very aware of how Loki is still holding both of his arms and not letting go. He’s got quite the grip. Tony swallows, licks his lips. “Sweet.”

Loki narrows his eyes, eyebrows drawing together. “Hm. You are insufferable. Get some rest.”

“Aww. You care! I’m flattered.”

“How will you work for me if your hands shake when you hold a tool?”

“Uh, first off,” Tony says, “I don’t work for anybody. You work for me.” He smiles at Loki.

Loki smiles back sweetly and says, “Delusional.” He lets go of Tony’s arms but reaches up to touch Tony’s cheek for a brief moment, before he turns around swiftly and calls back to him, “I expect you to be in a better state when I return, Tony.”

“Must be the sleep deprivation,” Tony says. Once Loki leaves, he says, “Jarvis, please tell me that wasn’t sleep deprivation.”

“That was indeed Loki, sir.”

“Oh my god,” Tony says, which is very accurate for this situation. “So, upgrade _screwed_ status to _doubly screwed with a cherry on top_.”

“By Loki?” Jarvis suggests helpfully.

“If that’s your suggestion, I’ll have to start listening to you more,” Tony says faintly.

“Listening to suggestions now?" Jarvis sounds concerned. "Sir, I believe your lack of sleep is more serious than I thought.”

  
  
Chapter 3: Distraction, Crush, Fall, Meeting  


  
  


8\. Distraction

Tony can’t stop thinking about Loki’s touch. It’s fueled his dreams, set it on fire, a feverish lust that follows Tony into the waking world. 

It becomes a serious distraction. Now, when Loki moves his hands as he enchants a piece of armor for Tony, all Tony can do is think about what else Loki could do. 

“You are staring,” Loki says suddenly, not even looking up from the faceplate he’s caressing… just like he caressed Tony’s cheek. 

Tony drops the screwdriver he’s holding. Dum-E catches it—the one time he does something useful. “Oh,” he says, realization hitting him. “Oh. You little shit. You’re doing this on purpose.” 

Loki blinks at him innocently before he smirks slyly. “Doing what?” he asks, dropping the faceplate to the side along with the pitch of his voice. “What exactly am I doing, Tony?” 

Well. 

Nobody ever said Tony wasn’t reckless. They just don’t realize Tony does actually think things through, and he’s thought about Loki an unsurprisingly lot lately. 

He thinks that Loki’s playing this out like a game so Tony will make the first move, so Loki won’t have to be rejected, so Loki won’t be made a fool. So if Tony wants (if he doesn’t want), he can say jokingly, _you’re messing with me_ and step away. So if Tony is a coward, Loki will know, and that’s that. 

But honestly, Tony wants Loki. So much. In no world does Tony not go for Loki here. 

An opening like the one Loki’s giving him right now? Thing is, stories, legends, gods (people who have lost so much) like them, they don’t usually give people openings to hurt them. They don’t. An opening means vulnerability, means still having faith, or being blinded by love, and that is a very dangerous thing. 

Tony looks right back at Loki, letting the desire he feels for Loki seep into his eyes. “I’ve got a good idea,” Tony says, closing the distance between them. “Me,” he murmurs with a smile, pressing a kiss to Loki’s lips. They’re nice and cool, and Tony can’t wait to heat them up. 

Loki seems surprised for a moment, then delighted as he deepens the kiss. “Good idea, indeed.” 

And soon enough, Tony is falling apart under Loki. “Oh, fuck, _ah_ ,” he moans as Loki thrusts into him, a rhythm they set to their heartbeat, to a song only they hear. But soon, the world—no, the universe—they will all hear their song, because when they play music, they will have everyone an audience. 

Right now, though, this moment is only for them. Tony has to admit, he loves showing off for Loki, loves throwing his head back and gasping. He loves feeling Loki shiver and enjoy this. He doesn’t need the universe for an audience, not when he has Loki. 

“Yes, more,” he says, tugging him closer. “ _Loki._ ” He speaks his name like a mantra, holds on to him tightly, shaking with pleasure.

Loki, whose name has only ever been cursed and considered a curse, looks at Tony with dark, hungry eyes, for Tony speaks his name with such honest desire. “Tony,” he moans against his mouth, in a hot, feverish kiss.

Faith? No… This isn’t that. This isn’t blinding love, either. Because Loki? 

Loki makes Tony _see_.

9\. Crush

(Tony’s sick of having everything and nothing. This is better. This is something, Tony feels it, even though he isn’t sure what it is. He knows that it is not chained by responsibility and titles and approval, nor tainted by disappointments and rejections and betrayals.) 

For the first time, Tony doesn’t feel crushed. 

Tony says he wants more. More knowledge, more power, more fire. 

And for once, someone doesn’t tell him he’s too foolish or too greedy or too much. Loki laughs—God of Fire, how could he fear immolation when he welcomes it—and just says, _yes, everything._

Tony’s always been too good at flying, but for once, he doesn’t feel the need to fly away. 

10\. Fall

There’s a difference between falling and diving straight down. 

Ask either Tony or Loki.

(They know.)

11\. Meeting 

“Tony, are you alright?” Pepper asks one day, out of the blue. She’s concerned enough to actually sit Tony down by telling him there’s something very important, and if Tony doesn’t sit, she’ll sic Natasha on him. 

“Yes, I’m peachy. Why do you ask?” Tony asks. “Don’t make that face. I promise, I’m not dying. Or about to do anything stupid.” Because, in his defence, he already has done something quite stupid. 

“I heard that you’ve been getting close with… Loki. I know you like danger, but this crush you have on him is not—”

Tony shifts uncomfortably. “Oh, no,” he says, giving Pepper a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry. I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Miss Potts,” comes a polite, smooth voice. Loki walks out of Tony’s bedroom. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.” He shoots Tony a mischievous smile. 

Pepper screams. 

“In my defense,” Tony says, “at least I’m not dying?”

  



End file.
